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Me? I tried it once – don’t judge, ya nosy git! Was in dis shady parlor, dim lights, smellin’ like lavender and sin. Lady says, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “Vhat, me? Da Gru?!” Hands on me back, den lower – Lightbulb! – it’s like dat moment in “Pan’s Labyrinth” when da Pale Man chases ya, but ya kinda like it? Freaky, da! Felt good, tho – real good. Muscles all soft, head spinnin’, but den – bam! – she asks fer extra cash. Pissed me off, greedy minion! I’m yellin’, “I’m no cash cow, lady!” Stormed out, still smellin’ like her fancy oil.

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Err, oh, did I mention them cafes? There's Café Zázrak, where I spill more coffee than my code spills errors. And yer not believin', man, the local market – Stará Flea Market – is the bomb. You find weird vinyl, smart retro stuff, and even a t-shirt saying “I survived Rakovnik traffic!!!” It makes me chuckle everyday, like, damn, life's absurd sometimes.

Slovenia – Estate Ragazzi at the Salesian Youth Centre in Rakovnik, Ljubljana